My Miscarriage: An Opportunity To Exercise Patience and Trust In My Body

By Malkie Safer, Israel

I feel it's my duty to share with you about the mini-labour I went through last Rosh Hashanah (New Year). This was a spontaneous and later term miscarriage. Most women don’t know that an option without intervention exists. All you need is patience and faith in your body and it’s capabilities. I share this because I was so strengthened and empowered by this experience that I want women to know about this option.

One of my routine ultrasounds showed that at 10 weeks passed and the foetus had no pulse. The doctor sent me immediately to a clinic to remove the foetus. I spent hours waiting there, and when the doctor eventually came, we spoke briefly- I was offered a procedural abortion or pills to contract the uterus. I heard that the procedure to abort can damage the endometrium and affect future births, so I chose the pills. Placing 2 pills under my tongue, I went home to wait for contractions. Nothing happened and so two days later I was asked to return for another round of pills. Again, they did not affect me, so facing the weekend I decided to wait until the following week.

In the meantime, after speaking with my midwife, I realised that another option existed. She suggested that if I have the patience, why not wait for the body to do its job and expel the foetus? She warned that it may take a while, but that eventually, my body would do it. So I chose this path. Every day waiting was a challenge, but on Monday, Rosh Hashanah day, an hour before our guests arrived, I felt contractions just like labour, gently at first and continued to worsen until I had to excuse myself from the guests.

The timing of the New Year is a time of renewal. A day-loaded and vibrating. On this same day I was miscarrying, a friend very close to me went to get a bone marrow transplant. I breathed in that connection, I focused on my friend's healing, that anything that didn't belong in her body should go, that every cancer cell in her body should disappear.

My uterus continued to contract, and as my water broke, I jumped into the shower. Blood and blood clots began to flow out, and suddenly I panicked. It's too much blood!? What's going on here!? I called the midwife quickly, and just one minute into the conversation my sac fell out. The midwife assured me that the pain would subside shortly and the bleeding would slow. And it did. I lay down on a towel in bed and felt a sense of relief and excitement- I had done it. The body knows- it knew to wait until the children were asleep to start. So patience paid off. Instead of feeling shredded and scarred, I felt stronger and high with the adrenaline of birth, of the soul that only needed a few weeks in my body- I was glad you were happy with me and found the way out.