#notallmen
Here’s why “not all men” is trending.
On March 3, 2021, a girl named Sarah Everard in London walked when police officer Wayne Couzens abducted her; she was later found dead. When this tragedy was made known to the public, the police sent out a statement warning all women not to go out after dark. The problem with this is women are not the issue; men are. So why punish women for problems men created?
Jenny Jones, a member of Parliament house, realized this and proposed a bill that would set a curfew for men so they could not go out past six. The men retaliated with “not all men.”
Completely missing the point, why do we continuously change women’s world to fit the needs of men. Don’t change women; educate men. And the thing is you’re right, it’s not all men, but has your son ever objectified women? It’s not all men, but has your brother ever begged someone for nudes? It’s not all men, but has your father ever assumed someone is lying when they told you they claim to have been sexually assaulted? Again, it’s not all men, but it’s probably most.
Let's look at it from a different angle for a second; if I gave you a box of cookies and told you that some of the cookies contained poison, you would be wary of the entire package, right? Not everybody in your neighbourhood is a thief, but you still lock your doors at night. And, if you were swimming in the ocean and you saw a shark, I bet that you are getting out of the sea immediately, right?
I understand that not every single individual man on this planet is a sexual predator. However, sometimes women generalize men to protect themselves. This is a global crisis, statistics tell us 1 in 5 women have been raped, and 96% of these women were raped by men. So explain to me, why do we have to be the ones exercising caution?
It’s not all men, but I started running home from school with my keys between my fingers when I was 11. It’s not all men, but I was called a slut for wearing shorts in the summer when I was 13. It’s not all men, but I was catcalled in leggings and a stained hoodie when I was 15. It’s not all men, but I told you I didn’t want to, but all you cared about was how my breasts felt, rather than the tears streaming down my face. It’s not all men, but my co-worker wouldn’t stop calling me beautiful last summer. It’s not all men, but it is every single woman.
Why is it so hard to understand such a simple concept? A story told over and over again. A narrative that never changes. How many times do we have to say we know it’s not all men, but it’s enough? The reason we say “men” instead of “some men” is because it stops men who consider themselves “good guys” from tuning out the conversation. I’m sorry to tell you, but you are part of the problem if you tune out the conversation.
And to those who say it’s not a gender issue, I say violence against women and girls is absolutely a gender-based issue. Pretending like it’s not will never solve anything because it never gets to the root of the problem—misogyny (and yes, it's faithful counterpart internalized- misogyny).
Instead of dismissing it because “not being all men”, why don’t you engage in the subject. Engage with the fact that one in 3 women in their lifetime will either be physically or sexually abused by a man. Engage with the fact that more women in the US in the last two decades have died at the hands of a husband or boyfriend, than anyone who had died in 9/11, Afghanistan and Iraq. Engage with the fact that this gender issue was perpetrated by a power dynamic that was created and perpetuated by the male-dominated patriarchy.
Challenge the worldview that you have been conditioned to accept, perhaps, even want.
About the Author:
To find out more about Hannah, the author of this piece, you can read her bio here, or follow her on Instagram at accounts @elizaspeaks and her personal account. To read more of her work visit her blog Eliza Speaks, in which she shares her thoughts, and experiences on activism, relationships and feminism.